Borderline
by leey
Summary: His hand trembles when he speaks to him. His heart aches when he thinks of him. Though in front of him, he will always been seen as brash, brazen, and misunderstood. Seto/Jou


AN: Hey guys, after a long time I've decided to upload something new. I know I should work on other things, but this just happened, and I couldn't help it. I'm trying a new style, I enjoyed writing it like this. No beta's by the way, just pure text.

This will probably be a multi-chapter story, so rating may change... I think. Otherwise, enjoy!

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><p>Borderline<p>

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><p>It always began the same way, ended the same way. The bickering that shoved words into each other's throats. All the insults they threw at each other were from small things. Petty things. Though they never saw it in themselves to reason with maturity.<p>

Jounouchi decided himself that he wasn't bound to rules or conformity. There were so many other things for him to do, to care about. Though arguing with Kaiba was one thing that he learned was different. It should have been something stupid, something he should have just stopped and left behind.

But they touched him as brief moments of sanity.

When the words would hit his tounge, like a wave against the shore, they appeared as insults, crude and sometimes unimpressive. Jounouchi can't blame himself for trying, he just can't help himself from losing. It's a funny feeling, when he realizes just how important losing really is. It snaps him back, and gives him a sense of humanity.

So it doesn't come to a surprise to Jounouchi that all he's doing is using Kaiba. It cuts shallow every time, and poisons him, and he knows it's all wrong. A day will come and Jounouchi will feel it hit him with a force so strong, that it'll almost kill him. He waits for it every minute, every second, and wonders why it just doesn't run him over sooner.

"Fuck you Kaiba, I can't wait for the day you choke on your own shit." Jounouchi stood up from his table and gripped the edges, as if he were trying to stop himself from lunging at Kaiba. He wore his usual glare, one that seemed to burn rather than Kaiba's cold and calculating stare. It was easy for him to ignite the storm in his eyes, just as easy as it was for him to let it all out.

"I doubt that a mutt born from a whore and a groveler could do anything about it," Kaiba started, a smirk beginning to form on his lips. The words would strike Jounouchi, as if he took them to heart, a subtle expression flashing across his face.

Rage, hurt, fear, Jounouchi wondered what it was exactly that ran through his own mind.

He stuck up his middle finger, mouthed another silent "fuck you" before listening to the bell toll and signal as students flushed into the classroom.

They were made to sit on opposite ends of the room. Different classes where possible, but Kaiba cared too little of the situation, as well as hardly ever being present in class that he never took the motivation to change it. It wasn't such a difficult thing for him to get used too. It was just suddenly a routine.

By the end of the class, Jounouchi is always in a group with his friends. They circle around, as Yugi pulls out his deck and starts talking about his new strategy found through playing another stranger out on the streets. Jounouchi wonders if he'd go crazy without his friends. He knows it's a delicate issue in his mind, and tries to reassure himself by declaring it through his own voice. So when Kaiba begins to push and test his boundaries, Jounouchi replies in a stern voice, "They're my friends, I won't allow you to ridicule them."

But Kaiba does anyway, tells the group that they're doing nothing more than playing house with each other. It sets Yugi off as well, as he becomes flustered and tells Kaiba to just back off, but looks less intimidating because of his short stature and innocent baby face. Kaiba just scoffs and laughs, it's mechanical and it shows all too well.

Jounouchi does what most people wouldn't dare to even think of. He strides over to Kaiba, some steps heavier than the other, and quickly takes ahold of that expensive collared shirt. The browned haired boy looks almost bored, if not for his piercing glare that narrows down at Jounouchi.

"You're a sad human being, no wait, you're not even human. One day you're going to fall so hard from your fucking high horse, you'll start crying and wishing you could be saved." It comes out as a whisper, yet still holding that sternness of a shout. Jounouchi's own honey eyes battle Kaiba's, but they're less cold, and somewhat seem to hold a gentle warmth. Like they're trying to hold onto something that doesn't exist.

He notices something that isn't of much relevance, that the boy standing before him is slightly shorter than him. But Kaiba doesn't bother with it, and shakes it out of his mind faster than he blinks. The way Jounouchi's hands on his shirt begin to irritate him, as he grabs the other boy's hands and notices the golden tan against his own pale ones.

"Get your fucking hands off my shirt, mutt," He growls in his throat, hoping that maybe it'll scare off the "real" poor excuse of a human. Because Kaiba knows that no matter what, he's a human being like any other, except for HIM. He considers Jounouchi to be somewhat of a wild dog, uncontrollable, with no decency for anything.

The tan hands lift off, an obvious wrinkle pressed into Kaiba's blue shirt. Though he's still holding those wrists in his grip, pressing his fingers into Jounouchi's skin hard enough to hear a soft gasp.

"Human you say? Can you define a human for me, when you smell nothing like one? Dogs should go chase other dogs," He grips those wrists one last time before shoving the poor boy away. He watches as Jounouchi hits his back against a desk, before rubbing over those blatantly reddened wrists. Though parts of his skin begin to change color, quickly reverting back to that golden wash.

"Pathetic," Kaiba adds, while straightening out his collar to the best of his ability. He thinks for a moment that he needs to get it pressed, and misses Jounouchi's split second look.

It hurts this time, but it's a certain kind of hurt. It's the kind that pulls and pushes at him enough to keep him sane. For Jounouchi, it's the kind that keeps his heart reassured. There are too many dreams lingering in the back of his mind, that it just makes more sense to deal with the real thing.

His dreams are horrid things, even though he knows they're apart of him.

A hand reaches out, touches his cheek in a gentle manner before dropping down to take ahold of his shoulder. It's a pale hand, one he's seen and known for a long time. Jounouchi's eyes wander towards the man's chest, a dark blue silk dress shirt in his view. The man's head is shrouded in a darkness that covers his face, and it displeases him every time.

There's no need for words, but he decides it's only natural when things go a little awry. The hands are slowly sliding down his chest, pulling away at his shirt. It's pulled up to about halfway before Jounouchi decides to butt in, "Don't…"

"Don't what?" The shadow's voice is soft, but it pierces through the boy. He doesn't want to recognize the voice, because they're all too much alike. But it's deceiving, while those soft touches continue down and trail along his now bare stomach, the fakeness of it all beginning to evoke a shiver.

"Don't." It's sterner this time, more control over the situation. He doesn't want for it to go any further. Things were better without this, things where so much more real before this. If it wasn't for his stupid little thoughts, stupid little dreams that he only, just a little bit, wished were real.

If only a fraction of it were real would be enough.

The darkness retracts, hands pulling away from his body. It slowly begins to sink into the haziness, form and all, disappearing from sight. Jounouchi stares straight ahead of him, letting the emptiness sink in. The feeling is something he's gotten much too accustomed too, because it doesn't hit him like a stone. Rather, it's slow and degrading and eats away at him so slowly that it seems like a crawl. All he wants is for it to sink in already.

But it's already been so long, and all Jounouchi can think to do is weep.

The morning comes, as the light hits his eyes with an unwelcoming shine. There's the dust that floats around throughout the room, dancing around as it glows from being hit by the beams of light that filter in through the blinds. Jounouchi tightens the blanket around his body, trying to capture whatever warmth that's left behind. It's too early, and he knows he'll be late. He remembers his alarm clock, broken, somewhere along the floor.

There's the familiar routine, where Jounouchi wakes up half an hour later, washes up, gets dressed, then makes his way towards school. He stops by a bakery along the way, sacrificing another thirty minutes to grab a small donut that's piping hot and fresh. The old lady who works at the counter recognizes Jounouchi and smiles. She's genuine, letting the small wrinkles around her mouth crease into a smile. He smiles back, a little bit toothier than hers, as he hops out of the store scoring an extra piece in his hands.

As Jounouchi nears the gates of the school, which he'd rather not approach, he sneaks in this time through the gym. The doors are always unlocked during this hour, a simple mistake, as he quietly slips in. It's far more convenient for Jounouchi to wait till his next class starts, instead of barging into one. He takes the time to survey the other classes through the windows on the doors outside the hallway. It comes to a surprise when he sees Kaiba through one of the windows, clacking away at his laptop without so much of a glance towards the front. He lets the image sink in, and only hopes that he doesn't see him. In these moments, there's no rage or spite bottling up inside. It's one of those rare moments for Jounouchi to keep his eye on Kaiba, but he figures it'll be his last. He's made his decision.

It's a hard decision. He knows it'll hurt more than one person. Everybody he's cared for, cared for him, the friends he pretends to love, and the friends that keep his insanity in check.

He knows it'll hurt himself the most unless he hurts the others. But Jounouchi's not a bad man, and he tells himself that every time he thinks of it. He thinks it's all right to be a little bit selfish, and that everybody deserves too once in a while. It's just that some people take advantage over it more than others, and others pretend that they're not worthy enough to take those extra breaks, but do anyway.

He knows it'll somehow hurt Kaiba in one-way or another. It'll be his pride, or something else that gets in the way, but never his heart. It'll never be his heart, because he was never in it in the first place.

The thoughts are swimming in his head, not allowing for Jounouchi to breathe. It's a little heavy, a little constricting, but he manages to get past it somehow. There's a sadness that envelops him, like a blanket being pulled over his head. In some ways he also knows that Kaiba won't care one way or the other, or has ever cared for things out of his vision. It's this part that just kills him senseless over and over.

Jounouchi doesn't deny that he wants to be noticed, wants to be apart of a tiny bit of his life. Of course there are things that he needs, but never wants, but it's all a façade because he wants so much more than he could ever grasp in his hands.

He recalls his sister, who always used to ask to hold hands on chillier days while they walked to school. The memory is hazy in Jounouchi's mind, but he can still remember the subtle warmth from the palms of her hand, and the soft smile that she carved for him with the dimples on her face. It was a time where Jounouchi only wished that she could see his own.

Therefore he wants to help her, he wants to always be the 'courageous brother', the 'invincible brother', the 'best big brother in the whole wide world'. But he knows he's not courageous, invincible, or even being a big brother towards her. They're words that can never display the real nature of human beings. Jounouchi only happens to be one of them.

A coward, liar, and a fake.

There are things he'd rather not tell Shizuka, and are better off not being said. He hates it when she thinks Jounouchi is a super hero, coming home unscathed from old turf wars, and gang fights. Though he's put those things behind him, some come back to haunt him every once in a while. It's a past he can't throw away so easily as others, and he wishes all the time that he could.

Like forgetting old wounds that never scar.

He peaks into the classroom one last time, to catch a small glimpse of the brunette. There's a sickening feeling at the pit of his stomach, but thinks of it no more than those donuts he scarfed down earlier. He wants to throw up, as he tears his eyes away from the door.

Jounouchi rushes towards the mens bathroom, at the end of the hallway. He pushes past an absentminded student, while making a sharp turn for the door.

He's got his hands on the toilet seat, as he hurls out the contents of his late morning breakfast. It's a mix of liquid jelly and bread, and undistinguishable things he'd rather not think of, as the acid burns his throat. There's a thin sheen of sweat building on his forehead, as he gives another heave of stomach contents.

Somehow his mind's gone a little fuzzy, the choices he's made becoming jumbled in a gigantic mess. Jounouchi doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore, and suddenly he thinks he's making the wrong decision. It's ironic how he was so sure of himself before he saw Kaiba's face.

It's his fault, he needs to blame someone, anybody but himself. He knows it's wrong, and that there's no justice in the world anyway. So he thinks perhaps Kaiba will just forgive and forget, his thoughts.

Jounouchi pushes himself off the ground of the bathroom stall, as he flushes the toilet. He knits his brows together, before taking the sleeve of his shirt to wipe off the ends of his mouth. There's a distinct sour and sweet smell, lingering on his sleeves now, but he doesn't pay it much mind. Jounouchi thinks for a brief moment about maybe going to class, and leave his plan for later. But it doesn't last long as he clears that from his mind, and beings to dash out of the stall.

Jounouchi is now at the school gates. He decided to just run away as fast as he could, away from the school, away from everything in the past years of his life. Things precious, and things not as important, he was about to throw them all away. He climbed up the gate, and jumped down with a graceful landing. The dust kicked up from below his shoes, as he dashed quickly away.

He wanted to believe he was running for a new life, new time and place. Perhaps he could forget about all the old things, and now old friends. The park to his left he once used to play at, the house near by that smelled of curry ever so often. His mother, his father, sister, Honda, Anzu, Grandpa, Yugi.

Kaiba.

Jounouchi's can feel that he's teetering on the borderline of sink or swim. He only hopes that his plan can grant him the latter.


End file.
